5 Days, 4 Nights

I'm not talking about love pfffttt

First of all, sorry for posting this kind of mess because.....

Did you ever feel angry? I mean, really angry, like you want to cry out loud. Burst your gazillions tears out! So pathetic. Like me, now. I don’t know what’s going on with me, lately. Angry without any reasons.

I wanna scream, I wanna cry. I wanna fight, I wanna try. But all I can do is smile and hide the pain inside.

I feel so lost. Identity crisis-problem, all over again? Or is it just me? Yeah, also I have no confidence and low self-esteem L All I want to do is being alone in my room and doing nothing. I want to disappear from the crowd for a while because that’s so confusing for me.

Laying on my bed with the lights out, only a little light shines into my room. No one talk to me and no one know that I’m crying. It hurts so bad, from the inside. It’s like pushing something out really hard and this keeps telling me what to do that I shouldn’t do.

Is it all about manner, respect and being so polite? SAY IT! I know, I know, those are basic norms, but… may I break the rules?

Seriously, I always carry this mask everywhere to protect myself. “To protect myself” isn’t the only function, but also to keep my evil-side hidden. So, do I have to be angelic every time, no? No, I’m not Cruella Deville.

I just want to be “Me” , that’s all. Cry and angry because I can’t do something so mean among publics and my friends. If I hate someone, I do hate him/her for godsake!

Sorry, it’s too much about me~

Something's wrong with me and talking with my phoenix is the only thing i can do. Seems Phoenix is having a duty right now, flying so fly high .....

I think, I'm sick. Yes, plenty days of sleeping and medicine, that's all I need.

Don't mind me.